Two Months!

Dear Rosella,

You are a gift from God.

Slightly over two months old, this first letter is long overdue, but in my defense I'm so busy spending my time staring at you in amazement that I have not given myself a moment for writing. Please excuse the lack of finesse, it is written without editing, which if you spoke to Mamoo is a big no-no. As your mother, who you will find long winded, I start this letter about how your father and my love story began to where we are today.

 Our love story, in honesty neither your father nor I were looking for love. To be frank, neither of us wanted love at that point in our lives. He was relaxing on holiday and I was enjoying the life of the night in a city of endless adventures. When we met it was not love, but there was a connection. Your father was tall, smooth, smart and most of all clever, he kept me on my toes.  That night we met we spoke for hours, when one bar closed we went to the next, when it closed we sat outside refusing to acknowledge the sun creeping up on us. Now I did not know if it was just the beginning of a friendship or a flame that would die out tomorrow as I walked away from him to get in a taxi, but the moment I sat down and caught my breath, I looked at my phone to check the time and he had already sent me a text, it read, “Boom, super keen.” Three words are all it took to nearly send me into back handsprings. 

Over the course of a summer, I fell hard for your daddy, but was I going to admit it? Not even if I was on fire. Your father was something I had not seen in a long time, a gentleman. Eventually, I let him meet my parents and I will tell you something that I foresee me telling you a million times, Mamoo is always right. After she met him, she knew that he was not just my man but he was THE man for me. 

 Shortly after, I followed Dad to England, not because I was especially interested in a country I imagined as perpetual winter and people with dental issues, but because I wanted to see if “us” would work out. Were we merely a summer love that you look back fondly over the years and think, “what if”, or was this something we could manage, the long distance. That month began two things, the knowledge of my overwhelming and everlasting love to your father and my pregnancy. 

No honey you were not planned, nor was your surprise met with great joy or celebrations at first. I was scared, more scared than I had ever been in my life. But after speaking to your father, I did not feel alone, he not only gave me strength, he gave me reassurance that we were in this together for the long haul.  Then I told my two best friends, Mamoo and Sweetpea, they provided the support and love I needed. Here yet again, Mamoo is always right, she told me that having you would be a choice I would never regret and that my life would have meaning, purpose and each day would be overflowing with joy just because you exist.  You merely existing in my belly gave each day a happiness that radiated from my core. I no longer felt alone or scared, you were already my everything. 

As the due date approached people asked me if I was scared about labor or being a mother, to be honest being scared never once crossed my mind. I was on the verge of meeting the blessing I had become so close to over the nine months and all I wanted was you in my arms. I think you felt the same way because the birth was a breeze and when we were finally united after all those months of waiting I was washed over with a feeling I had never encountered, blissful perfection.

Two months you have graced this Earth and every day I have thanked God for you. Each breath you take is a gift he has given to me. You have given my life worth. I sit staring at you wondering how I am so lucky, how something so perfect and sweet was given to me. If during my life I am never given the answer I will find myself grateful of having the question to ask.

Rosella, you may not have been planned but never think that meant you were unwanted. God gave you to us because he deemed us worthy of being graced with an angel. Your presence in my opinion is a miracle and not everyone gets one, I will thank him everyday for giving you to us. I will show my gratitude by trying to be the best mother  I can, showering you with love and protecting you as well as I can in a world of hard lessons.

For now, I will go watch you sleep peacefully and lay beside you cherishing every moment of your beauty.

Love,

Mom