I miss you Ro

A lot.

It's tough being apart, every day I seem to miss you more and more. I know in my heart that you will be here soon, and I am so happy about that. But at the same time, that doesn't make it any easier to be apart from you, no matter how long. It can be a little lonely in this apartment, I look forward to Skyping you and momma every day, that always makes me happy. But, because of the time difference, we don't get to speak when Daddy gets home from work, that's the worst.

I know, I know, I am being a whiner.

Just want you to know I love you, with all my heart.

Daddy.

x

A letter from Moo

Dear Rosella,

This is one of my first letters to you; queenie told me last

night that I have the priviledge to write a letter to you. As

I’m still a child, it might not be as long and advanced as

everybody else’s, but it still comes from the same place, the

heart.

I have just started year six this September and have been

telling all of my friends about my beautiful niece (yes, that’s

you!) Everybody so far thinks you are the most pretty baby

girl ever! And I don’t blame them as you are! We have just

moved into our new house. And even though this month has

been exiting, I can’t help but to be always thinking about

you!

It was around Christmas time when we where all sitting on

our couch about to Skype your Mummy, when I found out

the best news of the year- you were on your way! When I

was told, I was too exited even to think about asking when

you were coming! But when I found out it was near summer

time I was over the moon! I was counting the days! One day

I came back from school and asked Queenie and Poppa Baz

if you were finally here... but the reply was still no! When

we got home we Skyped daddy and there you were, in the

hospital cot laying there so still and peaceful, I must have

had a tear coming out of my eye when I saw how beautiful

you were!

And don’t worry Rosella, we did come and see you! It was

July when we came to North Carolina to see you, as we came

off the plane I ran straight to you, Daddy and Mummy! As I

looked into you car seat, I must of stood there still like the

clocks had stopped ticking because you were even more

beautiful than any other baby! When we arrived home, I was

so exited to hold you and give you big cuddles! This would

be the best holiday ever as I got to spend it looking at you

giggle and coo in your bouncy chair! Near the end of our visit

you had learnt how to hit the toys on your bouncy chair! If I

remember correctly the star teething toy was your favorite!

But unfortunately we had to go home When we got back

to Liverpool I didn’t know what to do I was so used to having

you near! But as the days flew by I saw lots of pictures of

you growing and changing each day! You wouldn’t think but

we have only been apart around a month! But everyday I

miss you more and more! And in a couple of weeks you are

coming to Liverpool to come and see queenie, Poppa Baz

and me your Auntie Moo! Then you will go and see you’re

your daddy in Cambridge! While you have been in China

your Amazing daddy (my big bro ) has been setting up a

home for you, Mummy and Daddy to live in!

I’m sorry Rosella, but all letters have to have an ending

I hope you liked my letter and Stay safe! I love you so much,

from Auntie Moo xxx

A letter from Grandad

Dear Rosella,

 

This will be my first of what will hopefully be many letters to you throughout your life.

 

Let me introduce myself. I am your paternal Grandfather and I am know by many names by many people, but affectionately known to you only as “Poppa Baz”

 

I was a young man (in my eyes!) when you first arrived in our lives I and was worried that due to this I might not be a very good granddad. On the day I first met you I was extremely nervous and had butterflies in my stomach!  The moment I first saw you however, and held you in my arms, all of my worries drifted away and I knew that I would love you forever and be the best granddad ever. I also cried like a baby in the airport L

 

Your Nanny Elizabeth (Queenie), Aunty Hannah (Aunty Moo) and I spent the first few weeks of your life with you and mummy and daddy and Mama Moo (Nanny Judy) in a lovely little house surrounded by woodlands in North Carolina. It was a really special time for us and we loved every minute. We were very sad to say goodbye to you and to have to come home to England without you, however we knew that we would see you really soon and started planning immediately for your arrival. 

 

While you have been growing up very quickly in Shanghai we moved into our new home in Liverpool. We are currently making it nice and cosy for you, mummy and daddy to come and stay with us for a day or two in a couple of weeks, before you travel down to the lovely little apartment that your Daddy has made nice for you all to live in in Cambridge.  

 

Poppa Baz (that’s me btw in case you forgot!) is really looking forward to his next trip to China for work, because when he finishes he gets to pick you and mummy up and bring you over to England with him…..Not in my suitcase though, as I have managed to get you and mummy some free flights and I will also look after you both as we all travel the long journey together.

 

Everyone in our family in England is really looking forward to seeing you also, as they have not met you in person yet. They have all been watching you grow up every day though, as we all put lots and lots of pictures of you on the Internet and show you off on Skype whenever we can!

 

You are extremely loved already so you have nothing to worry about when you come to England. We just need to worry about what we will do with all the gifts that will be piling up for you while you are over here. Daddy will have to buy lots more suitcases I think!

 

I am really looking forward to seeing you face to face in the next few weeks and enjoying more of our little chats and smiles and cuddles.

 

 

Your loving grandfather….Poppa Baz x x x x

 

 

 

Thank the Skype Gods.

Ro,

I  have just finished Skyping with your momma. She sure does make me so happy. Every day I look forward to Skyping with you both, it's the highlight of my day. Unfortunately it was past your bedtime and you were fast asleep, I am looking forward to speaking to you tomorrow morning when you wake up.

I'm not going to lie Ro, these past few weeks have been really tough. I just can't adequately describe how unnatural and hard it is to be apart from you and your momma. Every day I miss you a little bit more, you have grown so much since I last saw you and that both makes me sad and very happy. Happy because I see how you are prospering and thriving in this world of ours and sad that I don't get to see the day to day transformations you are going through.

However, it was so important that I got everything set up for our family over here in England before you arrived. Both your momma and I wanted everything to be perfect for you. So that has been my job for the past month, trying so hard to get everything perfect for you and mom. The knowledge of that has kept me strong whilst apart from you both. Plus, your momma is so amazing at keeping in touch and making sure I don't miss a single thing, I am always the first to know what is going on in your day to day, and I never miss a Skype! Okay....that's not true. Last night I was so exhausted that I fell asleep on the couch and missed our date. I was so upset when I woke up at 4.30am. I wish you could have seen me, I must have looked so funny all 6ft5" of me curled up on a tiny sofa, suffice to say, I was hurting! But it was okay because your mommy woke me up to some wonderful pictures of you fast asleep in Carrefour! That's a crazy place Rosella.

Back to my job, getting everything ready! For the first year of your life, Rosella, we will be living in a place called Cambridge. Cambridge is a town in the south east of England, not too far from London. It is especially know as being home to Cambridge university- the best university in the world. As such, it is an ideal place for pharmaceutical companies to set up shop, so they are close to some of the most cutting edge research in the world. You wont remember this first year of your life, and we probably wont ever live in Cambridge again. But I promise you it is going to be such a happy year together as a family. We will take lots of pictures. I know your mummy is nervous about moving to England, it is a big move for her, but I know the thought of us all being together is what is helping her. Besides, I know that when she gets here she is going to love it! Cambridge is so beautiful and we live right near a river, which she will love. There are plenty of beautiful walks for us to take, I am excited.

About our apartment, well, it was so difficult and stressful trying to find a place for us all to live. Cambridge is EXPENSIVE! Let me tell you Rosella, moving from Leeds (where we will live next year) to Cambridge the rent has tripled! However, I managed to find us a lovely little apartment close to the city centre and not far from the bus stop that Daddy has to cycle to every morning to go to work. I say a little apartment because it is exactly that, little. It is a small bathroom, a kitchen and a room with a nice big bed, sofa, dining table and office desk in. But it's okay, it meets our purposes, and I have tried my best to decorate and make it look nice for you and mommy, I even cleared up enough space so that you can crawl around! You aren't crawling yet, but with how strong you are I don't think it will be too long before you are! I know that scares mommy, to see how quick you are growing, and it scares me too a little, but mostly I am just excited to see you develop and grow and learn learn learn. You are a sponge at the moment, I am so excited to teach you all about the world with momma.

Now, you might want to skip this paragraph...depending on how you develop and what interests you pick up in life, my work may bore you, which I am prepared for ;) But it wont stop telling you about it anyway. I am currently working for Pfizer, the biggest pharmaceutical company in the world. My role is an industrial trainee, this is a scheme that is available in UK universities that allows you to have a part of your degree working for a company. This is something I jumped at the chance to do as, not only would it give us money and a chance to save, but it gives me invaluable experience which will make it easier to get a job in the future. I am working on something called preformulation. When a drug is discovered, there are lots and lots of things that must happen before it can be sold. One of these things is that it must be tested, to see if it is safe. Preformulaiton is when a drug in it's raw form is mixed with lots of other chemicals, 'excipients', so that they can be administered to humans and animals in a safe form for testing. My job is to research solubility. Solubility is important in the drug industry as more and more drugs are becoming 'hydrophobic' this means that they hate water, and so can't dissolve. It's important that drugs dissolve in water as all inside us, blood, is made up of water. So without solubility, the drug doesn't have any effect at all. So I am researching how to increase the solubility of really hydrophobic drugs by mixing them with carefully selected 'excipients' before dosing. If I am honest I am not 100% passionate about it at the moment, but I think that's because I haven't had much time to get in the labs yet. The theory behind everything is interesting though, because it pulls a lot from physical chemistry, which is the study of how atoms and molecules behave at a fundamental level. I am at a crossroads now, where I can either go down a physical chemistry route, or a synthetic route. I have had lots of experience with synthetic chemistry and I know I enjoy it, but not much experience with physical chemistry. This year should give me the experience I need to make an informed decision next year when I chose my research project. That's enough about my work anyway, but always know that you can come to me and ask me about everything I do whenever you want, I will always be keen to share with you what I do.

So, like I said, I have been missing you both like crazy! But guess what! In just a few weeks you will both be here, the thought of that makes me so happy. We can get settled and enjoy our time in Cambridge together.

Before I go, I just want to clear something up, yes these past few weeks have been tough, but each and every day I am still happier than I have ever been in my life. No matter what trials or difficulties your momma and I may face, the knowledge that we have each other, and you, make it all worth it. How could I possibly be unhappy when you both exist in my life. We are a family, that is what is truly important, we have each other and we are so lucky to be able to say that, always know that just by having a loving and caring family, you are the luckiest girl around. That is something that your mommy reminded me of when I was quite down when I first moved here, I am so grateful to her for that, it keeps me smiling each and every day.

Right, I must go now. I need to go and get some essentials in! I am going to spend the rest of the day writing thank you cards for all the wonderful gifts and cards that people gave us to welcome you to our world, then I am going to get a Chinese, settle and watch Modern Family, which I love! I hope we can watch it together some day, I think you will really love it.

All my love from Cambridge, UK.

Daddy,

xxxxxx

p.s. can't wait to see this smiling face on Skype tomorrow morning! 

Peaceful Napping

Dear Rosella,

Right now you are napping peacefully in your crib and that provides me a few minutes to watch you breathing and then to sit and just think about you.

Everyday, I thank God I was given you. Every smile melts my heart, every squeak brings a smile across my face and soul. Every moment you are in my arms, I never want to let go.  I will never let go, no matter how hard you push me away in the future or how many miles are between us, I will never let go of you or stop showering you with my love and affection.

You are truly my everything and you always will be.

I do not want to spend a second away from you. I hope I bring you happiness and that you feel loved every moment of every day, because that has become my sole mission in life.

I try to be a good mom, I want to be a good mom because you deserve the very best.

Loving you always,
Mommy.

Shanghainnagins

Dear Rosella,

Right now we are visiting Mamoo in Shanghai, China. Aren't you a very special girl to have stamps in your passport before you can even sit up on your own.
On the journey you were magnificent, such a well mannered precious angel. You even had a celebrity hold you, Mr. Graham Elliot.
While we have been here you have seen so many things you will never remember, other babies with split-pants, horrific driving, bizarre foods and dogs with hair dyed tacky colors.
What you see is not nearly as interesting as what everyone else sees, a beautiful baby girl, yes I am talking about YOU. Every where we go people have to look at you in the stroller or come closer to view you on my shoulder. Quite a few individuals have been brave enough to either try and touch you or ask to hold you, obviously I am not into sharing my gorgeous girl.
From the chaos of Carrefour to our early morning walks watching the drunks stumble home and the city wake up to life you have been a trooper through it all.
Now you are beginning a nap routine, knock on wood that lasts, you refuse pacifiers and only want to suck on your hands and you have moved out of 0-3month clothing to 3-6month. You long, lanky girl we didn't even get to use all the beautiful outfits April lent us. Two months in and you are already wanting to grow up, please stay my baby girl forever.
Daddy is sorting out our apartment in Cambridge and starting his new job, which we are incredibly proud of him and can not wait to be reunited.
But in all honesty we are happy to be spending this time with Mamoo, the way you look at her, I've never seen so much love in one's eyes. You adore her, you beg to be near her and you absolutely beam when she holds you. I know she loves you just as much and you mean the world to her.
Although each day brings a new adventure, one routine remains the same, each night we come home and have a glass of beer. We sit down, relax, sip on our beverages and watch you dance and wiggle til it's time for bed.
Thank you for being such a joy and removing the need of a television from our lives.
One day, Mamoo and I will sit and enjoy the evening having a beer with you, until then enjoy your numnum.

All my love,
Mom

Two Months!

Dear Rosella,

You are a gift from God.

Slightly over two months old, this first letter is long overdue, but in my defense I'm so busy spending my time staring at you in amazement that I have not given myself a moment for writing. Please excuse the lack of finesse, it is written without editing, which if you spoke to Mamoo is a big no-no. As your mother, who you will find long winded, I start this letter about how your father and my love story began to where we are today.

 Our love story, in honesty neither your father nor I were looking for love. To be frank, neither of us wanted love at that point in our lives. He was relaxing on holiday and I was enjoying the life of the night in a city of endless adventures. When we met it was not love, but there was a connection. Your father was tall, smooth, smart and most of all clever, he kept me on my toes.  That night we met we spoke for hours, when one bar closed we went to the next, when it closed we sat outside refusing to acknowledge the sun creeping up on us. Now I did not know if it was just the beginning of a friendship or a flame that would die out tomorrow as I walked away from him to get in a taxi, but the moment I sat down and caught my breath, I looked at my phone to check the time and he had already sent me a text, it read, “Boom, super keen.” Three words are all it took to nearly send me into back handsprings. 

Over the course of a summer, I fell hard for your daddy, but was I going to admit it? Not even if I was on fire. Your father was something I had not seen in a long time, a gentleman. Eventually, I let him meet my parents and I will tell you something that I foresee me telling you a million times, Mamoo is always right. After she met him, she knew that he was not just my man but he was THE man for me. 

 Shortly after, I followed Dad to England, not because I was especially interested in a country I imagined as perpetual winter and people with dental issues, but because I wanted to see if “us” would work out. Were we merely a summer love that you look back fondly over the years and think, “what if”, or was this something we could manage, the long distance. That month began two things, the knowledge of my overwhelming and everlasting love to your father and my pregnancy. 

No honey you were not planned, nor was your surprise met with great joy or celebrations at first. I was scared, more scared than I had ever been in my life. But after speaking to your father, I did not feel alone, he not only gave me strength, he gave me reassurance that we were in this together for the long haul.  Then I told my two best friends, Mamoo and Sweetpea, they provided the support and love I needed. Here yet again, Mamoo is always right, she told me that having you would be a choice I would never regret and that my life would have meaning, purpose and each day would be overflowing with joy just because you exist.  You merely existing in my belly gave each day a happiness that radiated from my core. I no longer felt alone or scared, you were already my everything. 

As the due date approached people asked me if I was scared about labor or being a mother, to be honest being scared never once crossed my mind. I was on the verge of meeting the blessing I had become so close to over the nine months and all I wanted was you in my arms. I think you felt the same way because the birth was a breeze and when we were finally united after all those months of waiting I was washed over with a feeling I had never encountered, blissful perfection.

Two months you have graced this Earth and every day I have thanked God for you. Each breath you take is a gift he has given to me. You have given my life worth. I sit staring at you wondering how I am so lucky, how something so perfect and sweet was given to me. If during my life I am never given the answer I will find myself grateful of having the question to ask.

Rosella, you may not have been planned but never think that meant you were unwanted. God gave you to us because he deemed us worthy of being graced with an angel. Your presence in my opinion is a miracle and not everyone gets one, I will thank him everyday for giving you to us. I will show my gratitude by trying to be the best mother  I can, showering you with love and protecting you as well as I can in a world of hard lessons.

For now, I will go watch you sleep peacefully and lay beside you cherishing every moment of your beauty.

Love,

Mom